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Inspired by Peter Griffin its the ... Weekly Grind My Gears:
You know what really grinds my gears?
This section of our blog. It has become somewhat tedious writing and reading this section.
This section of our blog. It has become somewhat tedious writing and reading this section.
Want Some Old Rusty Gears?
Back to School Questions. How was your summer? What classes are you taking? The people asking these questions really only want to tell you how great their summer was and what classes they are taking. Other vacuous comments include, "you got so tan!" "I haven't seen you forever!" "Have you bought your books?" or "I'm in that class with you too!" This initial feigned interest gives way to distant acknowledgments as the weeks slip away. -Palosaurus Rex (08/23/09 - 08/29/09)
Let our Gears cease grinding for a while as we pay respect and reflect on a fallen friend.
Getting 'Rick Rolled'. For those of you who don't what the hell I'm talking about: 'Rick Rolled' is when you go to watch a video on YouTube only to find out that instead of seeing "Singled Out: Jenny McCarthy side boob highlights" or "KKK Rally Denver '09" or whatever you people watch you end up with the video for the 1987 hit single "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Sometimes it's not even the real video, it's just a montage of photographs of Astley, which is in many ways worse, depending on the pictures. If I were making a playlist for a crossbow/chainsaw rampage would this song be on it? Only time will tell...-Rambo (08/02/09 - 08/08/09)
Society.I've grown weary of your stifling norms and unsightly structures. Soon after tackling an evidence final on Tuesday, I will have a respite from your tiresome rule. Four days on the dusty trail is the salve for my open sore. Four nights of campfire meals. Four nights of open sky. Behold, weathered boots and trusty backpack, Olympic National Park awaits. -Palosaurus Rex (07/26/09 - 08/01/09)
People who don't wear deoderant. Palosaurus Rex is an idiot and deleted this ... plus he doesn't wear deoderant in 90 degree weather so I guess my real pet peeve here is him. Go to CVS and spend the two dollars. Or follow Rambo, shit, he does it for free. -Sim Simma(07/19/09-07/25/09)
People who hang family photos in their bathroom. What's better than a taking leisurely bowl-busting dump? Taking a leisurely bowl-busting dump in someone else's bathroom of course! Unless that someone else hangs family photographs all over the walls. Then it becomes 30 minutes of fetid awkwardness, timidly releasing ones bowls under the static gaze of dozens of watchful eyes and shit-eating grins. Extra awkwardness points go to families that hang pictures of relatives that have clearly been dead for longer than you've been alive. Nothing quite like great aunt Mildred's stern glare from beyond the grave when you're trying to squeeze one out. Why the fuck would anyone do this? I mean, I don't have a strong desire to re-live my family's 1993 visit to Disney World while in the can. Maybe it's an attempt to prevent users from taking a number 3 in that particular commode. Well, if that was the intent I got one thing to say: Better luck next time Aunt Mildred! -Rambo (07/12/09-07/18/09)
Holidays. I like days off, but I hate holidays. I work hard to come up with a daily routine that I enjoy, only for it to be ruined on those special days. I come from the smallest of families, so there's usually nothing to do when all the stores are closed, television is playing a crappy marathon of celebrity drug overdoses, and no one else is around to do anything. Bah humbug. -Drama (07/05/09-07/11/09)
Tech Support. I am currently sitting in my cubicle even though I should be out having lunch. Why? Because tech support said they would call me back soon. I am at their mercy and let me tell you, they have none. They could give two and a half shits if "soon" means they end up calling me in 5 hours making me waste a day of work rotting in my soul crushing cubicle. I bet one is playing World of Warcraft right now. Can't you just see him oozing out of his chair while smearing some cheeto powder across his face with his sleeve? Warhammer, I'm going need you to kill him quickly so he can get back to my call. Ok? Thanks. -Sim Simma (06/28/09-07/04/09)
Nothing. I am at peace with the world. -Palosaurus Rex? (06/21/09-06/27/09)
Rush Hour Radio: It's as if the DJ at DC's only rock station thinks to himself, "hmmm... it's 6:15, Rambo's trapped behind some asshole trying to make a left across 3 lanes of gridlock, let's put on something really bland and shitty, something even that vegan douche-bag in the left-turn-making Prius in front of him would consider a little too soft. Let's see, DMB… no that actually has some mass appeal, wait I've got it! Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want!" Here's a fun fact about that song, IT SUCKS! It sucked 10 years ago when it first came out, it sucks now, and in 2018 when some brain-dead retard over at the classic rock station finds that CD under a used condom, while huffing paint in the men's room… guess what? IT'S STILL GOING TO FUCKING SUCK! God! First you play 'Face Down' by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, a track which proves it is possible to write a wussy song about domestic violence, then you play no less than 5 Lincoln Park songs in a row, and then top it off with Vertical fucking Horizon… well played sir. And you fuckers wonder why the consumer is switching to satellite radio. - Rambo (6/14/09 - 6/21/09)
Southerners. Their famous hospitality need not apply to strangers or people different than them. So unless you look absurd, with pleated khakis halfway up your thigh tucked into a pastel polo shirt with an alligator, croakies attaching your sunglasses, an SEC ball cap covering up a haircut meant for a toddler, and camouflage somewhere, expect to be ignored. Sure they are overcompensating for their lack of education and morality. So keep your annoying accents, adolescent marriages, conformity, and good ole' boy network, I'm only down here for your warm weather, not your culture. - Drama (6/7/09 - 6/13/09)
Oprah Winfrey. Oprah has never been married, yet women take relationship advice from her like investors take stock tips from Warren Buffet. She ballooned upwards of 275 pounds several times but remains an authority on weight loss. The height of meglomania, she has a namesake magazine, in which She has appeared by herself on every single issue save one. Michelle Obama, the only other person to appear on the cover of this self-serving magazine, is seen posing with Ms. narcissistic herself. Please explain to me how a DAYTIME t.v. talk show host commands the respect that she imagines. -Palosaurus Rex(05/31/09 - 06/06/09)
Jon & Kate and each one of their plus eight. This family is not newsworthy! When I look at GoogleNews I want to know what is going on in the world. I don't care if a celebrity marriage is in trouble. This should not be in GoogleNews, it should remain where its supposed to on the People/Nat'l Enquirer rack in a supermarket. Jon and Kate you decided to have 8 kids. Great, thats just irresponsible ... they outnumber you 4 to 1. I smell a mutiny brewing in the wind. What is more irresponsible is that you can barely afford 8 kids and have to get TLC to film your chaotic excuse for a life in order for you to make ends meet. How messed up are these kids going to be when their entire lives through their parents divorce is documented on national television? Granted I have never seen this show, but I doubt I would watch it for even a second. Unless you consider it the kind of watching you do with roadkill as you pass it by on the highway. You just can't take your eyes away from the horror of it all. -Sim Simma(05/24/09 - 05/30/09)
Twitter. Twitter is a place for self-absorbed, narcissistic individuals to try and convince themselves how awesome their lives are. No, I don't care that you got front row tickets to some wicked awesome super cool concert. No, I don't care that you can't decide what to wear tonight. If I cared, I would CALL. So stop this nonsense of posting one-liners about your worthless lives into space and hoping somebody will actually read them. If you're still trying to defend this mentally-challenged site, please check out this video. -J Roll (05/17/09-05/23/09)
Women. Bitches be CrAzY!!!! -Sim Simma (05/10/09-05/16/09)
Video of the Day
Mario-Kart! Courtesy of Palosaurus Rex:
A Weeks Worth of Awesome Videos
Monday: Mario Kart!
Tuesday: Madonna's BMW
Wednesday: Berlino the Bear
Thursday: Crazy Waterslide Jump
Friday: Prince Fielder Flips Out
I Only Have One Question ... Who the F@$% Are Ya?
Chill out Vinnie Jones. We are a group of young men who by at large think we are better than you (the reader) and bicker through "that's what she said" and "your mom" jokes to determine who truly is the alpha male amongst us. We are damn good looking, smell like confidence (a mix between whiskey and soap), and have stunning intellects to go with our foot long ... subs (only $5). All of this can be assessed from our biting wit and sarcasm as we make fun of society at large and most importantly one another. So enjoy and Cheers.
Who Is On First?
As the famous Abbot and Costello argued over who was what and where was who ... so have we here at Grandma's Boys. So in order to clear up any confusion here is a little descriptive bio of each of our writers:
Sim Simma
Sim Simma is the founder of this blog, deciding that since the members of the renowned conference "Eat Shit and Die" can no longer communicate through Learnlink due to graduation, they should have another avenue to rant and make fun of each other. The most personable man in the group, he has perfected the art of first finding, then dating, a crazy girl.
J Roll
J Roll is the tall man in the group, who goes out of his way to put things on upper shelves so only he can reach them. In one word (besides tall), J Roll can be described as stubborn. Don't get into a debate with him if you don't have the patience because whether you are fighting about a sports team or what you said to a girl last night, you'll lose... eventually.
Drama
Drama has just recently reached the friendship level required to officially join this group of misfits' blog. Modeled after the Entourage character, he is significantly older than the rest of the group and has the phenomenal gift of turning even the most mundane and relaxing tasks into extremely stressful experiences.
Warhammer/ ffeJ
Warhammer is the little man in the group, but like his name implies, he is not to be messed with lightly. This late night bar fiend is an expert on all things automotive and computer oriented. If you see someone at 2 AM on a Monday night doing back flips for shots (did we mention he's cheap?), just buy him a round and kindly point him in the direction of home.
Palosaurus Rex
Affectionately known as Kramer to some for his astonishing ability to be in every room but his own freshman year, this non-extinct dinosaur also enjoys sleepwalking to pee off balconies and pretending to go through law school. As the only member of the group who resides on the west coast, he is left to vehemently defend its honor by himself.
Rambo
The most absurd member of our group, Rambo is infamous throughout the community for sporting bandanas while working out, walking like a raptor, and, most importantly, speaking his mind without thinking about potential consequences. Trust us when we say don't piss him off when he's drunk or he may head butt your wall!
Sim Simma
Sim Simma is the founder of this blog, deciding that since the members of the renowned conference "Eat Shit and Die" can no longer communicate through Learnlink due to graduation, they should have another avenue to rant and make fun of each other. The most personable man in the group, he has perfected the art of first finding, then dating, a crazy girl.
J Roll
J Roll is the tall man in the group, who goes out of his way to put things on upper shelves so only he can reach them. In one word (besides tall), J Roll can be described as stubborn. Don't get into a debate with him if you don't have the patience because whether you are fighting about a sports team or what you said to a girl last night, you'll lose... eventually.
Drama
Drama has just recently reached the friendship level required to officially join this group of misfits' blog. Modeled after the Entourage character, he is significantly older than the rest of the group and has the phenomenal gift of turning even the most mundane and relaxing tasks into extremely stressful experiences.
Warhammer/ ffeJ
Warhammer is the little man in the group, but like his name implies, he is not to be messed with lightly. This late night bar fiend is an expert on all things automotive and computer oriented. If you see someone at 2 AM on a Monday night doing back flips for shots (did we mention he's cheap?), just buy him a round and kindly point him in the direction of home.
Palosaurus Rex
Affectionately known as Kramer to some for his astonishing ability to be in every room but his own freshman year, this non-extinct dinosaur also enjoys sleepwalking to pee off balconies and pretending to go through law school. As the only member of the group who resides on the west coast, he is left to vehemently defend its honor by himself.
Rambo
The most absurd member of our group, Rambo is infamous throughout the community for sporting bandanas while working out, walking like a raptor, and, most importantly, speaking his mind without thinking about potential consequences. Trust us when we say don't piss him off when he's drunk or he may head butt your wall!
Blog Archive
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2009
(46)
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May
(11)
- Simply Spellbinding
- The Train Track Story - Origins of Drama (Ep. 101)
- "Oooh Baby I Love Your Way" IS THIS PETER FUCKING ...
- Notes on Japan: A Rambo Mini-series
- Angle? Who needs an angle?
- How My Birthday Beat the Swine Flu
- UUoUU! UUatch Out - Thanks for the Heads Up Drama ...
- Breaking the Seal
- Lisa, your aorta is in your chest ...
- And with that, a new chapter begins...
- The Creation
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May
(11)
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