boats and hoes

the PalosaurusRex mailbag

in today's post i will answer reader e-mail. as usual, these are actual e-mails from my readers.

I AM SUPER EXCITED ABOUT MY UPCOMING FOOD EATING COMPETITION! I AM SO GOOD AT EATING TOO! I'VE EATEN AN ENTIRE JAR OF MAYONNAISE IN UNDER A MINUTE, A THANKSGIVING TURKEY DURING A FOOTBALL HALFTIME SHOW, AND FOURTEEN BIGMACS IN A SITTING JUST BECAUSE THE CASHIER LOOKED AT ME FUNNY! I COMPENSATE FOR MY SHORT-COMINGS IN LIFE BY BEING UNNECESSARILY COMPETITIVE AND STUBBORN IN THE MOST TRIVIAL OF CIRCUMSTANCES. I CANNOT WAIT TO PROVE TO EVERYONE HOW GOOD OF AN EATER I ACTUALLY AM! I MEAN, I AM REALLY GOOD! FINALLY PEOPLE WILL TAKE ME SERIOUSLY WHEN THEY SEE ME EAT 10 FISH SANDWICHES.
- ilovefishsticks, atlanta, ga.

PalosaurusRex: i remember when i had my first beer


a few of my friends college friends and i started a blog to keep in touch. one of my buddies just finished his first year of law school. in his first post, he used the words wellspring, bubbling, and nonetheless. he also correctly used both a colon and a semi-colon. what's more, if you read his post it seems so painstakingly written, as if he is conscious of every sentence. i just wanted to talk about boobs and beer, and this pedantic fuck thinks he is james fucking joyce.
- grammerchallenged in georgia

PalosaurusRex: your buddy properly used a semi-colon in a blog and no one called him out on it? does he think he is autioning for the sequel to Finding Forrester? more than likely your wannabe emily dickensen buddy is an intellectual phony, trying too hard to sound smart. next time, if this guy uses the word "wellspring" again in a blog post, put a bar of soap in a sock and starting taking it to this fragile egghead.


i just finished one hell of a year in law school. most of the people that i go to school with take themselves way too seriously and they all have extremely high opinions of themselves. after finals i went back to reno, nv to hang out with my folks and my old highschool buddies. four of my highschool friends share a house and most everyone congregates there to drink no matter the day or time. i cannot tell you how refreshing it was to open the door to their house and find about 15 guys with fortys ducktaped to each hand watching TruTV episodes of embarassing web-videos. i love reno.
-e-rock, reno, nv

PalosaurusRex: wait for it...


i just finished a year in law school and went back home to reno, nv for a little r&r. it was nice to hang out with my highschool friends. have you ever heard of wizard-staffing? after every can of beer you drink you ductape the new beer on top of the old one. after about ten beers or so you have a wizard staff that reaches the ceiling. good luck drinking a new beer at this point if you don't have stairs. back in seattle i asked a lot of people what they had done over the two weeks that we had off. a lot of people apparently worked on their law review application. i am now going to drink fortys and watch TruTv
- p$, seattle, wa

PalosaurusRex: one more...


i just bought my first dave matthews band cd today. i went to pay for the cd and the cashier rolled his eyes at me when he saw what cd i wanted to buy. the funny thing is, i knew exactly how he felt and i kina agreed with him.
- palostine, seattle, wa

PalosaurusRex: yup, these are my readers