consultants- you give them your watch and they tell you what time it is

these posts are always difficult for me to write because i'm not as funny as rambo and not as much random shit happens to me as simmsimma.

right now, the world is my oyster. my class is only four days a week and i have been burning candles at both ends most every day of the week. you could say my life is a bit like warhammer's, except that i leave my room and i do not exclusively hang out with anyone below 60 inches.

the last two weekends, i have done some really killer hikes around the area (pacific northwest plug- it is beautiful here). on two separate occasions i went with recent divorcees. the first guy that i went with is 35 and a fellow law student. he is coming off his second divorce. he then quasi-dated, and was subsequently dumped by a woman who had also been recently divorced (the week after her mom died, her husband, before leaving for work, told her that she was fat and that he wanted a divorce). on my hike, this guy would not shut the fuck up. he was an emotional wreck and told me every story about any woman he had a relationship with. this went on for ten miles. i was his pack mule carrying all of his fucking emotional damage. today, i went with my cousin, who is 23 and got divorced a few months ago. we talked for a while on our lengthy hike, but not once did he mention his ex-wife. i don't know if that is really healthy, but i sure know who i enjoyed hiking with.

my cousin works as a consultant here in seattle. in honor of jroll's recent post, i thought that i would share a consultant joke that he told me. a wife and husband decide to go out to a nice dinner one evening. they order drinks to start out with and the wife notices that every waiter in the restaurant has a spoon in their front apron pocket. the wife asks the waiter about the spoon and the waiter says that they had recently hired a consulting firm. the consultants said that spoons were the most commonly dropped utensil. if the watiers carried a spoon on them, they would not have to make a trip to the kitchen and back to the table, thus saving 75 man hours a week. sure enough, during her meal, the wife dropped her spoon and the waiter gave her the spoon from his apron pocket. the husband then noticed that every waiter in the restaurant had a string tied to his fly. the husband asked the waiter about this oddity and the waiter explained that the consultants had suggested it. when the waiter goes to the bathroom, he uses the string to pull out his dick. because he does not touch his dick, he does not have to wash his hands, thus saving 100 man hours a week. the wife asks how he got his dick back in his pants. the waiter responded, "i'm not sure about everyone else, but i just use the spoon."

loved the last small world post drama. i met you for about three days and i feel a lot more familiarity with you then the people that you see frequently.

on a somber note, i would like to finish this post about iran. my mom is from iran, i got to see the country for three weeks last summer. my mom's brother was active in a student democratic movement during the revoluation and barely escaped the country with his life when current regime took over. my mom has lost a lot of friends and extended family to the upheavals during the revolution. i have been so emotionally invested in the current happenings and i have been talking to my extented family all week. i have no clue what will happen tomorrow or in the next month in the country. the one thing that i can say for certai, is that the courage the prosters in the country have shown throughout the week brings me to tears. i wish that i had half the strength that they have shown to stand up for my convictions.