Farting Friday

Yesterday, I farted while working in the lab.

It was a silent passing of gas, you know a feeling of relief and ease once you know that you haven't tooted your ass-trumpet for all the kingdom to hear. However, since it was silent I did not get the rewarding giggle or shocked and dismayed facial expressions from the more mature members that I work beside. Unfortunately, my furtive fart was deadly, noxious and straight up virulent. I don't know what I ate, but I couldn't take my own smell and unfortunately since it came from me I couldn't escape it either no matter how much walking away from previous red zones I tried. Then just when I was feeling hopeless, fruitlessly holding my breath like a trenched soldier without a gas mask, something amazing happened. The one other girl working in the lab stopped what she was doing and began sniffing the air. I thought, "Oh no! This is going to be damn embarrassing! How am I going to explain this?" But after a couple head turns and then her final horrified sniff she said matter of factly, "Oh man! There must be a chemical container open or the fume hood is off." Needless to say, I was doing everything I could to hold in my laughter. I was slowly poisoning this girl with my ass and she thought it was due to some methane bottle (I guess it kind of was). Obviously this opportunity was too good to be true and I had to play along. So then I suggested we search the fume hoods and find where the leak was and fix it. After walking around the lab sniffing the air with her and checking the sealed containers we both concluded that the smell MUST have come from the fume hood and if it happened again we should get a supervisor. Truly one of the best moments I have had working in the lab. Because of this fantastical fart I found out that my job position allows me to get away with silent farting whenever! So now I am off to the lab to let one rip. Enjoy this old Adam Sandler classic and I hope you all have a good farting Friday!