Happy Hump Day!

After waking up and having my traditional breakfast of champions with J-Roll I headed over to my car ready to start my long work day. J-Roll then shouted his goodbye with a zealous, "Happy Hump Day!"

His valediction made me realize that this would be a long day as I climbed to the zenith of the Wednesday work mountain. But, I have finally reached the top and have a break from slightly breaking very expensive machines in the lab. During this break I began wondering, what the traditions of "hump day" were? Why are the days of the week named the way they are? And, how I could make millions of dollars so I wouldn't have to be at work right now? My answers came quickly as a result of our astounding technological age (Google): The traditions of hump day is to complain, sulk and/or tell jokes by the water-cooler. The days of the week are named after the planets with Wednesday being Mercury (the most emotional and workaholic of Greek planet Gods). And I am still working on the millions of dollars thing ... maybe this blog will take off? (Sigh) I'll keep dreaming.

Butt, (see what I did there? Man, I'm so clever) in order to keep with tradition and make your hump day today a little less dropping the soap with a side of prison ass-rape and a little more whip cream with a side of Mila Kunis and Jessica Alba, I have a few short jokes for you. Feel free to spread them around the office ... or in most of your cases (Drama, Ffej and Palosaurus Rex) whoever you end up meeting today.

How do you spot an Amish Redneck?
There's a dead horse up on blocks in his front yard.

Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he's snagged an old bottle. As he's taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. "Turn the lake into beer," he says. The genie goes "Poof!" and the lake turns into beer. He says to the other guy, "So what do you think?" The other guy says, "You jerk. Now we've got to piss in the boat."

How do you know when you're too drunk to be driving?
When you swerve to miss the tree in the road and it turns out to be your air freshener.

Two blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They continued to argue back and forth until they got run over by the train.