Fear and Loathing in SA Part 2: The Motorcycle Diaries

Fuck, no breaks. I sat on my sportbike at the dusty intersection of a farm access road and a major Peruvian highway scanning the oncoming traffic for a break in order to make it to the safety of the other side. I had successfully made it across three lanes of speeding buses and petroleum tankers and then had to stop because the rest of the highway was blocked by a military convoy. I now clung to my idling 400 cc Honda perched precariously in the tiny median of the busy highway. The dry desert wind picked up a little causing the palm trees on the other side to sway slightly, as if beckoning me to the safety of the pastural farmland ahead, away from the noise dust and danger of the highway. I lowered the protective visor on my helmet to sheild my eyes from the clouds of sand that were coming my way, and as I sat in the relative serenity I thought back to my younger days at University in my homeland.
Back then I was just a young niave college student, full of curiosity and youthful idealism. It was at this crucial juncture of my life that I was taken under the wing of the person who would become the biggest influence of my life, a man whos wisdom and knowledge were matched only by his cool misterious demeanor. He could have been the next president of the United States simply by announcing his candidacy, and yet he chose enlightenment over power, goddamn. The man I am refering to is David Simms, the inspiration for those Dos Equis commercials featuring "the most interesting man in the world." As I sat hoping for a break in traffic I poured over my mental bank of adages I gained from my friendship with David Simms.
"If theres grass on the feild play ball!" Hmmmm. That certainly was a popular mantra of Mr. Simms but it didn't really apply to this situation. It was most commonly used when confronting a moral dilemna of whether or not to engage in sexual congress with a girl, epecially one that you suspect of being too young for pleasures of the flesh. The saying had certainly served me well previously on my south american adventure such as when I was presented the opportunity to hook up with a 25 year old Brazillian MILF. However I was not in a dimly lit 6 dollar a night hostel with an off duty exotic dancer, much as I wished I was.
"Good blow sparkles like the morning sun on fresh mountain snow." Another incredibly useful pearl of wisdom from D. Simms especially in the context of a trip to South America, but again not particularly useful at the moment.
I cycled through dozens of such proverbs gained from my time with David Simms none of which seemed to apply to my predicament, despite their wisdom and practicality. Suddenly I remembered the time David had taught me to use a manual transmission automobile in the parking lot of Vince and Dominic's. What did he say to me, think goddamnit. Of course! "When you're starting up the car make sure you're in first gear and let the clutch out slowly while accelerating at the same time." ¿Could that saying apply here? I was on a motorbike and not in Dave's little sister's Toyota Echo, however the engine size was probably fairly comparable between the two. After failing to come up with anything more suitable I slowly loosened my grip of my left hand on the clutch while throttling the machine's engine at the same time with my right hand. The bike lurched forward into the perilous highway, barked sharply... then stalled. To be continued.....?